Initially, it bothered me.
Someone who claims not to be interested or is triggered by me still types my name daily to watch my sh*t? Clearly, you're watching to judge, gossip and keep track.
Many times I wanted to call 'em out—"I see youuuuu"—or block them out of impulse.
But that's the old me.
The new me?
She doesn't react, she responds 😏 (and turns the story into inspo).
Because if they’re spending precious time and energy watching and talking about you… that says more about them than it does about you.
- I grew up in a society that taught me “Jangan jadi bahan ngomongan” (Don't become a conversational topic).
- I was raised to believe that if I wasn't approved of—if I didn't dress, speak, or live by society's standards—I’d be ostracized.
- I spent years trying to fix people’s perspectives of me, hiding my messy, chaotic, DGAF self just to feel validated.
- I thought I needed to be someone else to “belong”
And any “negative” perspective—or being seen differently—means I am unloved.
But you know what's funny???
No matter where you are in life, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE TALKED ABOUT.
- Still starting out? He's not rich | Made bank? New money got in his head.
- Gained weight? She's slacking | Lost weight? Impossible, she didn't take pills.
- You don't work out? You're lazy | You work out? She's too obsessed.
- Stay at home? She doesn't have ambition | Work hard? She's neglecting her family.
- Small wedding? So biasa | Big wedding? Ajayo, wasting money.
- Normal clothes? Third class | Latest trends? Showing off.
THERE IS NO WINNING.
Yet we still let people's opinions dictate our lives.
We carry this collective anxiety that impacts how we feel, act and decide.
We end up overthinking every interaction:
- "Did I say that right?"
- "What do they think of me?"
- "Are they mad?"
We dress for pressure, stay quiet to belong, and make life-changing decisions like marriage and career based on society instead of desire.
We hide parts of ourselves, fearing that any negative attention or the "evil eye" will ruin us—all while wondering if something is wrong with us but never questioning the environment.
Until I learned that judgment isn't about me; it's about the filters people use to view their own lives. If they already have a negative impression, nothing you do will change that.
But actually being comfortable with being misunderstood and disliked? That takes WORK.
It takes training your nervous system to feel calm, confident, and centered despite the inevitable lurking eyes and big mouths.
Now, they’ve become fuel for me.
From "stop watching me!" to "now watch me, bish..." 🙂↔️
I know I am not alone in this. Here is proof from women who were DONE with the social anxiety and worked with me to feel like the untouchable queens they are:
If you're still reading, you're just as DONE with letting others hijack your mood, decisions, peace, and freedom. Let's fcking talk.
In Think Better, we spend one month changing the way you move in places that used to intimidate you:
- Learn to look at people differently so you dare to repel those who aren't for you and attract the genuine ones.
- Master unique approaches to handle people with grace, not chaos.
- Build self-love and gain the tools to handle judgment or discomfort without shutting down or falling into old habits. You’ll move confidently, no matter the room.
You will not recognize the badass bish you’ll become by the end of this month.
Call it petty or call it an inspo story—IDC. Because this is my world: a space to express and build a community of like-minded souls. If you’re here, you’re choosing to be in it. There’s something about it that intrigues you, even if it triggers you (especially if you’ve unfollowed but still lurk…😌)
Challenging the norms we were raised to believe is hard, but it’s how we break the cycle… together…
I was so afraid to speak up because the fear of not belonging almost made me sick, until I started connecting with people who actually get it—those who have been waiting for someone to show a new way.
We’re building a community that’s more loving, giving, accepting, and understanding; a space where we value you beyond your status and don't judge you for your imperfections because we’ve all got them.
We hold space for each other and remind one another that life is bigger than being petty.
If you want in on this—if you want to feel free where you once felt suffocated—you’re not alone. Elevate your mind and come join the crew.
I have one last spot left for the end of the month. This is your ticket to ultimate freedom and confidence.