You think you know someone... until you live with them 24/7. You’re not just learning each other's love language—but you’re also dealing with each other’s conflict language.
And I'm no longer afraid to admit that I had a loud one...
I had a temper. Once I was in a mood, I stayedddd in it.
I'd react with the classics:
💬Silent treatment. Cold shoulder. Passive-aggressive.
And when my husband asks "are you okay?",
I'd say "yeap" when I was clearly NOT (like as if he was a mind reader)....
Even when I talked, I stayed in "victim" mode, needing him to fix how I felt... but getting frustrated when he couldn’t.
💫Bless my patient husband who tried... He gave me space, said the right things—and I still wasn’t okay.
Then eventually it hit me: It wasn’t him…
It wasn’t even the situation....
It was the way I was processing it...
Or rather… the fact that I didn’t know how.
I had big emotions and loud thoughts I didn’t know how to handle.
And I used to say, “this is who I am.”
But that line? That’s the excuse that ruins everything.
It stops you from ever changing.
It makes everyone else the problem—and also expect them to be the solution.
So you keep pushing, controlling, fixing—but nothing really changes.🛠️
Because here’s the plot twist most of us miss...
The plot twist?
You’ve been controlling the wrong damn things.
You’re trying to control people, situations, and outcomes—
when what you really need to control is your own mind, emotions, and responses.💛
We wait for life to change, for people to “get it”, for circumstances to magically deliver peace, love, safety, happiness or validation.
But that kind of sh*t never last —because it depends on the outside.
And that’s why you feel stuck and ‘similar’ sh*t keeps happening.
The hard truth? There's a part of you that's keeping it alive.
We blame situations and wait for others to do better but if you’re still the one feeling like crap in your own life, then you have the responsibility — and the power — to shift it.
⚙ That’s what real control is. Not blame. Not guilt. But choice.
Yes, some people suck. Yes, life throws curveballs.
But reality mirrors your internal world.
Not just what happens, but how you interpret and respond to it.
And when you start to see that…
You stop trying to control them and start controlling yourself…
✔️Your thoughts.
✔️Your feelings.
✔️Your actions.
That’s the shift that changed my life.
I stopped micromanaging the world to try and make me feel better, but managed my responses.🌎
Ironically, that’s when I actually started to feel calm and in control.
Because life always meets you at the level of who you’re being.
The problem isn’t the person, the situation or even YOU, but the *version* of you that keeps reacting to it the same old way.
That version of me almost wrecked my marriage but now I know better.🌱
This is why I created The Zen Manual.
Not to "fix" you, but to help you take control the right way — from the inside out — so that you can finally get the results that you want.
You don’t need to overhaul your whole life. You just need to change how you approach it. Because when you shift inside, life shifts with you. It has NO choice.💫
The Zen Manual is a 12-week group coaching journey to help you understand your patterns, shift how you respond, and take control the right way—so you stop sabotaging your peace and start designing it.
✨ FREE Consult Calls are open to help you discover whether this is for you. No pressure, just clarity.
✨ ONLY limited spots available.
And if this hits you somewhere deep—maybe it’s your sign.