WE COULD DO BETTER
I Love My People… But Damn.
We built homes around the world. We turned scraps into GOLD.
If you're in trouble, someone will show up with a full meal and listening ear even at 3am.
We celebrate like there's no tomorrow. We laugh till our stomach hurts.
And we keep each other grounded. Family is in our bones. There’s a DEEP BEAUTY in that.
But let’s not pretend there isn’t a shadow side too.
The WHISPERS.
The judgment dressed up as “just checking in.”
The post-wedding post-mortems.
The weight commentary.
The career dissection.
The CSI-level analysis of everyone’s life decisions.
We don’t call it gossip—we call it “CONCERN.”
Someone gets engaged? “Yeah, but the guy? Not that well off.”
Someone loses weight? “Ozempic, must be.”
Someone gains weight? “She’s let go of herself.”
Someone succeeds? “He's being such a show off”
Someone struggles? “Did you hear…*with added bumbu*”
You get the picture.
And I’m not gonna stand on a high horse here—I’ve played my part big time. I’ve laughed at the wrong things. Said stuff I shouldn’t have. Passed on the tea without checking the source. It made me feel included, in-the-know, maybe even powerful for a second.
BUT LATER? I always felt ICKY. Heavy. Insecure. Inauthentic. And honestly, a little scared—because if I could talk like that about someone… what were people saying about ME?
The real gut-punch? There were times I gossiped about someone I ended up bonding deeply with. Or judged someone for something I later did myself.
Oof. That one HURT.
We don’t always realize it, but we carry this collective anxiety—that someone’s always watching. Measuring. Comparing. Judging. Sending nazar. So we start shrinking ourselves. Hiding our joy. Censoring our truths.
The FEAR is real; our community doesn't always feel like a SAFE SPACE.
But let’s be honest—we’re still gonna talk, but how we talk needs to CHANGE.
So I started asking myself: What if we could bitch better?
Yup. Still a little spicy. Still a little dramatic. But also: Conscious. Compassionate. REAL.
Before I open my mouth or listen to anything, I check:
🔍IS IT TRUE?
Like—actually true. Not “my mom’s friend’s cousin said…” true. Check your DAMN facts.
💖 IS IT KIND?
Even if it’s about someone messy, is there a way to speak with some softness? Like they’re human too?
🧠 Is it NECESSARY?
Am I saying this to learn something? Or to feel better about my own sh*t?
Because at the end of the day—gossip is a MIRROR. It tells you more about the speaker than the subject.
When we reduce someone’s win to a flaw, or their pain to a punchline, it’s often just our own discomfort talking; either to feel superior or validated.
And believe me—if your life were under the same microscope? You’d probably be terrified too. I know I was.
Someone once told me—straight to my face—“You’re a Sindhi? You guys have the worst mouths.” I laughed it off, but damn that STUNG. Because there was some truth to it. And for a long time, it made me want to hide that part of me.
BUT NOT ANYMORE.
I’ve made peace with it. I’ve owned it. Because we are SO MUCH more than our worst habit.
We’re generous, loving and funny as hell. We’re born hustlers. Creators. Fire-starters. We can build something from nothing—and feed the whole neighborhood while we’re at it.
It’s time we get louder with that side too.
Because the quiet, kind, conscious ones? The ones who pause and choose love instead of judgment? We EXIST. We MATTER. And our voices need to rise above the NOISE.
This isn’t about being PERFECT. We’ll still be a little messy, laugh too loud, make mistakes, love our dramatic aunties but can we be conscious about how we speak about each other?
That’s the SHIFT. That’s HEALING.
At the end of the day, we've only got each other so let's do better.
I promise to do my part (and give you the right to call me out when I forget), and one of the ways is through my upcoming workshop. “Is Evil Eye Real?” happening on May 27th.
This is for every one of us who’s ever played small just to avoid being “talked about” or “jinxed”. It’s time we reclaim our joy, our truth, our light—and feel safe doing it in our community.
It's free till the 20th so SECURE YOUR SPOT SOON! :
SIGN UP HERE!
